Beer roulette

I hate Las Vegas. I used to find myself going every year at least once, usually for Punk Rock Bowling, but ever since the organizers moved the weekend and I moved farther away, I've seldom been back. I hate the cigarette smoke, I hate the fact that you get what you pay for when you get the $2.99 b-fast, and I hate that I was clearly addicted to gambling. Case in point: I hit rock bottom when a friend duped me into driving out to Lost Wages a few presidential elections past ostensibly to canvas, but it just so happened to be Halloween and he dragged me to a bunch of clubs. Let's just say he had a good time and I couldn't wait to get back home. So when I missed catching the Greyhound to leave a day early, I consoled myself at Binion's and tested my "fool-proof" way to win at roulette. Here, I'll share it with you. Figure out how much money you want to win and bet it on red. Or black. Or whichever one ISN'T the one that the ball just landed on 3 spins in a row. If you lose, just bet double that amount the next time. If you lose again, bet quadruple that amount (since you lost it once the first spin and twice the second spin). The only way this plan can fail is, if, say, hypothetically, you wisely don't bring a lot of cash with you but you foolishly forget to leave your ATM card at home and then impulsively withdraw the maximum amount and that, too, doesn't land on the color you're riding.

I guess the reason this is on my mind is that I'm excited to go to Vegas soon. My wife's new job has her going there for a store opening and I've never been to a brewery in Nevada so I'm tagging along. Back in the day, there was no craft beer scene to speak of, but now there is. And the hotel is paid for. As is the food so no $2.99 b-fasts all day. As far as vices go, I'm glad that I've become a beer aficionado that I enjoy responsibly and moderately. I'm better at doing beer reviews than casino reviews.

Oh, as for that ill-fated trip. My friend who dragged me and allowed himself to be subsumed by every single vice in his playbook ended up officiating at my wedding. He got married, too, and his wife is grateful that I turned her onto Dieu du Ciel's Peche Mortel Espresso Stout. A far cry better than what we drank that weekend in Vegas.